6 nasty habits to get rid of: learn how to do it

They say habit is second nature. Indeed, because of them, we sometimes get a reputation as a "whiner", "unreliable person", "rare chatterbox" … But it turns out that we do not acquire them by accident.

What can our bad habits tell us? And the most important thing - is it possible to get rid of them painlessly? We have compiled the "hot six" of the most common bad habits, revealing their true meaning.

And then I appear, all in white

It feels like the whole world is up in arms against you! The insidious cork kept you in the grip for 40 minutes. A nail or a heel, as luck would have it, broke when it was necessary to jump out … The minibus weaves like a turtle. Colleagues cover you in front of the boss, friends hiss: “And you are improving! I was only half an hour late. " It is not clear: how do others manage to appear minute by minute?

What to do about it?

Have you ever been fatally late? For example, on a plane or an interview? Believe me, some of these cases were disciplined. True, there are also people whom even such a “wedge” has not taught anything: to come on time is simply beyond their strength.

The late person unconsciously emphasizes their importance. For him, this is the easiest way to attract attention.

Such a demonstration reveals self-doubt, the need for the attention of others. And this problem comes from childhood: it seemed to the little girl that her parents devote more time to someone else (each other, brother or sister).

It is important to deal with yourself and understand: whose attention are you missing? Senior authoritative people, peer recognition, men? You need to adjust your attitude to time. Plan your day clearly, scheduling hours and minutes, set reminders on your mobile, wear a watch in the end!

Be silent when I speak

Everyone has such friends. It is simply impossible to talk to them! One has only to start talking, as they, without embarrassment, immediately interrupt, transferring the conversation to another channel. Persuasion does not help, and requests “Let me finish, please” are simply ignored.

What to do about it?

To interrupt means to make it clear that the opinion of the interlocutor is not very important or not interesting. Where does it come from? Also from childhood: the child simply copies the behavioral model of the parents and accepts it as the only correct one. The boss can also behave this way, based on his social status.

This habit is characteristic of authoritarian people. They may interrupt you nicely and politely, but they still won't let you finish. Thus, they are affirmed at the expense of the other person.

“Forgive me for what I say when you interrupt me,” is a good answer when you are not allowed to speak. Such a phrase will discourage your authoritarian counterpart and for a while he will be silent. And, perhaps, he recognizes an equal in you - if you can stand up for your rights.

"Sorry, I'm wrong again …"

"I just thought that …", "I agree, I was in a hurry …", "That's right, I didn't calculate …" These phrases are so familiar to you that you can add a couple more from yourself? Congratulations: you are used to making excuses. This is not just a bad habit - it is a very bad habit: it also lowers self-esteem, and even negatively affects health and well-being.

What to do about it?

People with a pronounced guilt complex find themselves in the position of eternally justifying themselves. As a rule, this is characteristic of conscientious, intelligent and innocent natures. It is laid by the elders - parents, teachers, bosses. After all, it is easy to manipulate and control the guilty. But being wrong and having a guilt complex are two different things. In the first case, you can approach the person, ask for forgiveness - and the problem is settled. And you can't just get rid of the guilt complex. You need to raise your self-esteem.

Understand that your grandmother (mother, teacher) is manipulating you for her convenience. And don't fall for it. You can ignore (this is one of the techniques) or attack: the phrase "You forgot to buy milk because you don't think about me!" say: "Mom, if she hadn't thought, she would not have come to visit." Or to answer deliberate nonsense so that the person understands that he has asked an incorrect question.

"I'll do everything! But after"

You yourself get tired of it, but you can't change! You can only work in one mode: an emergency. Then in a couple of days you complete your weekly volume of tasks. It is very difficult and exhausting, but you are simply physically unable to work in a slow, calm rhythm.

What to do about it?

This is not bad for someone who works alone. But if you work in a team and this regime bothers you, try to understand: why don't you trust yourself? Why do you drive yourself into the greatest tension if it can be avoided? A good tactic is to break the work down into stages or clearly plan goals and objectives.

This is done by people who do not fully trust themselves. They procrastinate, do something else, play for time. But then they internally gather, arrange a "brainstorm" and work at full capacity and with great dedication.

Everything is so bad with me …

There is such a breed of people - whiners. If you are faced with this, consider yourself lost. So much negativity will be poured into your ears that your mood will immediately drop to zero and unwittingly bad thoughts will appear. After a heart-to-heart conversation, you will need another half day to bounce back. It is not clear: how do they themselves live with their "everything is bad"?

What to do about it?

Pity is a manipulation as old as the world, because the mourner may not be all that bad. He deliberately presents everything in black to arouse attention and empathy.

In some cases, such people receive less love and affection from their children, husband, and parents. It is worse if this feeling of dislike lasts from childhood and with it a person goes through life.

The hardest part is admitting that you are a mourner. And understand what exactly you are missing: gifts, communication, attention.

There is a theory of eight basic touches. When a mother sends her child to school in the morning, she must touch him eight times: hug him, straighten his collar, kiss, etc. This forms a basic trust in the world and people. And often, in order to stop the flow of grievances on life, it is enough to just hug a person. Especially elderly parents.

“Alla, Irka? Well, tell me!"

Morning. Filled minibus. And for all 20 minutes the woman next to me speaks on the phone! The whole bus already knows her pedigree, listened to the "news block" (about a husband, children, matchmaker, brother), "gossip" (who got divorced, who got married), etc. To tell the truth, in the morning such an excursion into someone else's life a little annoying …

What to do about it?

Recently, psychologists have identified a new form of addiction - on the mobile. And if a person speaks on the phone for more than seven minutes, this is already chatter, and not an important discussion.

Continuous chatter is essential for people who are afraid of loneliness. They themselves sometimes do not realize this, but they cannot be alone with themselves.

They are bored with themselves, they have nothing to occupy themselves with. And the telephone is the semblance of communication, connection with the world, fullness of life.