Rules to help you survive in any team.
I will share the conclusions that I have made during my career. And I managed to work in the women's team, and be the only girl among the crowd of IT specialists, and completely change the field of activity, having come to the formed team of professionals as an absolute beginner.
And these are skills that we were not taught at school or university.
When we first prepared to be part of the team, we followed the example of parents, teachers, etc. Someone more experienced, wise, with a baggage of knowledge behind their backs.
So, in the days of our parents, it was easy to join the team. I came, got hooked and stayed there to work until my retirement.
Now everything is different. The era of constancy has been replaced by an era of self-seeking and change. Now there is a conviction that it is necessary to change jobs every 3 years, otherwise you are on a straight path to burnout. It is difficult for our parents to understand this. For them, voluminous entries in the work book are a sign of inconstancy and unreliability.
Therefore, psychologists, coaches, consultants rushed to develop an algorithm of actions, how to become the soul of any company. Trained on cats, so to speak. Since there were no comparative statistics.
A few years later, they came to the conclusion that the work collective is almost no different from any other. From the family. In order to please potential mother-in-law and father-in-law, you need plus or minus the same qualities as potential colleagues in open space.
You just need to be yourself and be human.
What does it mean?
People feel when you are playing and trying to be someone else. You want to please everyone, please everyone, but they feel false and do not understand the purpose of deception. They only intuitively understand that it is desirable to keep away from you, you are hiding something.
So just be yourself. Don't laugh if it's not funny. Don't smile if you're sad. Be yourself and be open. Honesty is always captivating and mesmerizing. Honesty is a sign of comfort. It's good with you, because it's "understandable" with you.
Believe me, no one is interested in knowing any intimate details of your personal life. Perhaps even parts of your friends. They listen, nod, and think to themselves "I have a lot of things to do, why am I wasting time on this?" It's one thing when you have to cry out to your friends after a quarrel with the man of your dreams, and it's quite another to devote everyone to the most detailed details.
So the office / work is definitely not the place where people expect some portion of gossip from you.
If your personal life affects the quality of your work, it is enough just to say “it's tense at home, because I can't focus on the task yet, give me an hour or two, I'll do everything,” but you don't need to tell everyone what a rash is on your bottom. a child or how your husband offended you in the morning.
Remember boundaries. Even if you make friends at work, make friends outside the office. Believe me, no one has yet benefited from the lack of separation of "work" and "personal life."
Even spouses who work together successfully build their careers precisely because they clearly see the line that separates husband and wife from colleagues.
Don't jump over your head
It is clear that we all want to be the best, to stand out, the competitive spirit is laid almost from birth. But if you have just come to a new team and really want to work in a friendly atmosphere, then you should definitely not start communication with how brilliant you are and what you have achieved in this life. Let the results of your work speak for you.Believe me, even the most not envious people are unpleasant to work in the same team with someone who constantly talks about their successes. You work in a team, therefore any success is the success of the well-coordinated work of the whole team.
Talk less, do more
Everything is extremely rare in a team. If there are conflicts, their own "flocks." Because of the confined space, very often members of one flock migrate to another. In order not to become an outcast, you should not take sides at the initial stage, condemn or discuss someone, assess the situation. You came to work - work. Silently, maintaining a welcoming atmosphere with everyone. Each member of the team is useful and necessary for you, because you have a common goal - the prosperity of the business in which you are involved. There are no good and bad, no good and evil. There are colleagues. And even if you are weaved into these vicissitudes, try to stay aside, keep a cold mind and not give in to emotions.
In the world, most likely, there is not a single large team where everyone manages to grow and develop, clearly separating emotional issues from workers, but when you are new, you do not have your own credit of trust. So try to earn it with professionalism.
And if suddenly you didn't manage to join, remember that work is the place where we spend most of our time. You need to take care of your psycho-emotional health.
Understand with a psychologist what is the cause of conflicts, and if it turns out that the reason is in the team itself, change it! If in you - then this is your zone of growth and self-improvement! You change and the atmosphere around you will change.
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