How to love yourself as you are without the help of a psychologist?

I'll start with why we need it. There is a pyramid of values of a healthy person.

In the first place he has himself. The second is the partner. By partner, of course, is not always a partner in a relationship. For those who are actively developing their business, these can also be business partners. On the third - children, if any. And only then parents, friends, colleagues, etc.

When the order in the pyramid changes, it leads to imbalance and disharmony in life.

Of course, it is impossible to live always in harmony. Everyone in life has situations when you stop believing in yourself, when you make mistakes or contact the wrong people, problems appear - this is all experience. But it is very important to notice this in time.

At the heart of all problems is often the problem of relationships with the most important person in your life - yourself! When we do not love ourselves, do not perceive, and intensely criticize, we build destructive relationships not only with ourselves, it turns out that we project this both on the outside world and on relationships with others.

Appearance is highly dependent on self-awareness. Using my example, I will say that as soon as I stop feeling the ground under my feet, I lose balance and confidence, I gain a few pounds. This is how the body tries to build up my body's protection. When the problem goes away, the weight goes away again. Someone has the opposite. There are people who cannot gain weight, because the brain believes that they need to remain as invisible, transparent as possible.

In general, we figured out that the root of all troubles is the lack of faith in oneself, in one's own strengths and the ability to build relationships with oneself.

How to love yourself once and for all?

Imagine that you are the partner you want to fall in love with

What are you going to do? Dress nicely for him? Will you do the styling or sign up for a room? Can you cook him a delicious candlelit dinner? Buy the gift he dreamed of?

Do all this for yourself first of all! Even if you are alone at home, it is important to look good. Not silks and stiletto sandals, but clean and beautiful clothes are the minimum. Buy yourself something you've wanted for a long time. Prepare yourself a delicious and beautiful meal. Dine in private at the restaurant. Invite your friends on excursions around your hometown. Go to the theater, read books. Pamper yourself!

Take care of yourself as if you are trying to win your own heart.

Don't let anyone hurt you

Surrounding yourself with exceptionally good people doesn't always work out. But delineating your boundaries and not allowing them to cross is quite realistic. Nobody has the right to condemn or insult you. By allowing it, you break the pyramid of values every time, and put this person at the very top. Even if this is a neighbor expressing some kind of dissatisfaction to you in a rude form.

Read motivational literature

Even if it is business literature, there will be a lot about self-love. The first book that I would recommend reading to those who are not yet familiar with psychology and do not know where to start is Labkovsky "I want and will." What everyone should know about self-worth is written in very simple language. Today, you can subscribe to blogs of psychologists (the same Labkovsky) and every day, dosed to receive a portion of motivation.

Share your experiences with loved ones

But do not whine or complain, namely, talk about your experiences, calmly and without suffering. Firstly, it will help let off steam, and secondly, the right environment knows how to listen and support. If your loved ones then use everything that you say against you, or condemn you for your emotions and experiences, then maybe these people are in vain next to you?..

Make time for what inspires

Sports, hobbies, books, communication with people. Don't forget this. The energy that is generated during your favorite activity helps you later more easily cope with any stress and not upset the balance.

Self-love is not about self-confidence, it is about taking care of yourself, your desires and needs. Good food and friendly people around. This is a complex that needs to be developed and expanded daily. And this skill, just like training in the gym, - the result is visible when there is regularity. Therefore, do not forget to love yourself regularly!