Table of contents:
- Special attitude
- Joint breakfasts
- Dealing with jealousy
- Conversations in the style of "where to go next?"
- And finally
Traditions for harmony in a couple.
Reliable. Confident. Calm. Seeking development and family. This is how I saw my ideal man. And even though many kept repeating: “there are no such things” … By the age of 25 I still met him - and got married.
I had very clear parameters, clear criteria for choosing. And what my surprise was when even the shortcomings that I prescribed coincided.
Yes, we both have had a very busy schedule for many years. Yes, we don't always manage to spend a lot of time with each other. But we know exactly how to carry that very love through the years. How? I'll tell you now.
During the existence of our family (11 years), I realized that paired "rituals" and traditions work best. It is they who strengthen relationships and allow love to carry through the years safe and sound. But it's important to understand that relationships are work. Both people. And both must be ready to contribute to their development.
Like many others, it all started with romance. Flowers, gifts, deeds … Over the years this became less, of course, and it upset me. But my husband and I just sat down and talked. Honestly, frankly, sorting out all the feelings on the shelves. We talked about what is important for him and what is for me, discussed our priorities, our expressions of respect for each other. And most importantly, we agreed that practicality and common life would not negate our special relationship to each other.
We promised that we would not interfere with our partner in living his life, but at the same time, we would build our common history. We will come up with joint hobbies, look for similar interests and pastime. Experience has shown that this is a very working scheme.
A madly simple, but so important ritual for us. We always have breakfast together. No matter how late I was, wherever I was in a hurry and in whatever mood I was, coffee, pancakes or cheese cakes and discussing plans for the day - our constant morning … And this is the part of the day that I would not exchange for anything. Even when we have to wake up almost at dawn to be in time for everything, we still do not miss this tradition.
My husband and I have four children, two are joint. And it is clear that we spend almost all the time with them - even we do not go on vacation separately, but all together. Such conditions could undermine our relationship as a couple - but no. During the next dialogue (yes, talking is the most effective way to understand each other), we realized that it is important for us to continue to surprise each other so as not to get bogged down in a routine. Now we have a tradition - several times a week my husband gives me hydrangeas, and I, in turn, also think about what kind of surprise to organize for him. You can also compliment each other - at least once a day. Just like that, for no reason. And everyone is happy in a few seconds.
Dealing with jealousy
Jealousy is a dragon that is important to tame from the very beginning. Trust and only this can be the foundation for a long-term relationship. It certainly was in our life, but we coped with it. We keep each other calm and cherish each other's feelings.
And specialists help to cope with sick and pathological jealousy. In our time, it is not at all a shame to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist. Especially when there is a desire to keep the relationship.
Conversations in the style of "where to go next?"
We always discuss in the evening everything that happened to us during the day. And we discuss where we are going next in life. Dialogue is the most important relationship building tool. To fall in love again and again with a person, it is important to get to know him again every day. And also to be aware of all your expectations - then there will be no place for quarrels and conflicts.
I am often asked - how to understand that this person is the same? It's simple. It should be easy and comfortable for you next to this person. You must have some common interests, over time, common plans for life should appear. And here he is - your man.
The next thing is small - to preserve it and your relationship. But the spark that has already been ignited is difficult to extinguish. Especially if you're both in the mood for a long game.