Table of contents:
- Compare yourself to others
- Loops on a problem
- Trying to solve everything at once
- Blame circumstances or other people
- Do not make hasty conclusions and sudden movements
- Allow yourself to be yourself
- Enjoy the process
- Allow yourself to be wrong
- Be curious
- Take care of yourself
30 years, yet or already? So that I now tell myself thirty years old …
When I was 20, it seemed that 30 was already very serious, this is a period of maturity and almost the end of life. And then my 30s came and it turned out that it was far from the end. Moreover, now, looking back at myself as a 30-year-old, I understand that this was the beginning.
Doubt is the word that characterizes the age of thirty. Doubt about the correctness of the chosen path, profession, partner, in oneself in the end. Everything that you dreamed about before passed the first reality check and experience appeared. It's okay to doubt. We are the creators of the canvas of our life. And how do talented artists differ from ordinary artists? Talent always doubts the perfection of his work. Talent creates, guided by inspiration, but when the picture is almost ready, he steps aside and realizes that something can be done better. Dissatisfaction with the result is the path to excellence.
How can we be sure that the picture of our life is our picture? How to move on with inspiration to new wonderful works?
For a start, it makes sense to do a "spring cleaning", to revise your experience, to sort out your achievements, get rid of unnecessary things, free up space for new achievements in order to find the long-awaited harmony and balance.
Let's talk about what exactly stands in our way and what we should get rid of in the first place.
TOP 5 things to throw away or what not to do at 30
Compare yourself to others
Here you need to put a separate "monument" to Facebook and Instagram, which, like everything in this world, has its dark side. Let's be honest, everything that is published on the networks is a desire to show our best side. The best photos of yourself, the best landscapes, beautiful and delicious food, your achievements, a happy family, and so on. It would be strange if people on the networks talked about their shortcomings or demonstrated their mistakes.
It is very human to post the most beautiful and good things in anticipation of recognition, monitor the number of likes and receive support. But when we leaf through the tapes and see an endless number of pictures of success, happiness and joy, willy-nilly we begin to compare ourselves with this stunning beauty. It is also very human to think, where is my place at this celebration of life? If this thought comes to you, think that this is, firstly, the tip of the iceberg and you do not see the whole picture as a whole, and, secondly, this is not your picture. You have your own unique and inimitable path of excellence and development. And, if on this path you come across a person whom you would like to be like, then it makes sense not to blindly copy someone else's model, but to think what is valuable in this for me and how I can creatively rework and apply it to myself.
Loops on a problem
For example: we have a problem with being overweight, or the work is not satisfied, or a partner or something else that we would like to change. The most ineffective scenario will be to suffer about this, to hang in this state of emotions, endlessly replaying in my head that I’m somehow not like that and that there’s something wrong with me.
An effective scenario is modeling what you want. How I want it to be different, a kind of transfer to the future. Calmly and honestly assess what is happening now and what resources you have to move forward. Next is the creation of a roadmap, which consists of small regular steps and small victories along the way.If you are scared and still cannot get out of the problem state, look around to see if there are people in your environment who have successfully gone through this, whose experience inspires you. Or allow yourself to seek help from a specialist.
Trying to solve everything at once
How sometimes you want to collect all the things in a heap, quickly redo them, and then rest with a clear conscience. A complete illusion, because as soon as you deal with one heap, another one will immediately appear, no less. And if you are inclined to this model of behavior, then you will not be able to fully relax, so thoughts about the second heap will come running first and will not allow you to enjoy the moment of "doing nothing".
The most you will get is emotional burnout and dissatisfaction with what has been achieved. What to do? Put things in order. What is important, what is unimportant, what is worth doing now, and what then, for what tasks I have time and energy, and for which I need to save up a resource.
Blame circumstances or other people
“Convenient” way of behavior to explain to myself and others that I could, but the work is not the right one, there is no time, the person next to me does not give me, and so on. In other words, everything is all right with me, only the outside world is unfriendly to me. The outside world absolutely does not care what you think of it. How you relate to your environment is a projection of your inner world. It is not someone or something that does not allow you to develop, it is either you yourself are not yet ready for changes, or it is a stereotype imposed by society, friends, family “as it should be”, but you simply don’t need it. In this case, it is worth deciding on your true desires.
Do not make hasty conclusions and sudden movements
If you are uncomfortable now, reality weighs on you and the results are not encouraging - this is not a reason to make sudden decisions and run wherever you look. This is a reason to give yourself time to rethink what is happening, for the "spring cleaning", which we talked about earlier, and for creative work on realizing your true desires. And, only after understanding why and where to change, you can move at a pace that is comfortable for yourself.
And, now, TOP 5 things that we take on the road with love and gratitude.
Allow yourself to be yourself
Accept what you consider your strengths and what you consider your weaknesses. Believe that these are not disadvantages, as you suddenly decided, this is the zone of your development, if you decide to change. And, if you take a closer look at yourself, it turns out that the disadvantages may turn out to be your merits.
For example, you consider yourself slow, someone can do it in half an hour, and you need half a day. This means that you are more careful about the case and pay attention to the details. Knowing this feature behind you, you can give yourself more time and not worry that someone galloped forward.
Enjoy the process
Yes, we all need results, we can measure them. This is how we are used to evaluating our own effectiveness and judging the success of others. The catch is that if you focus very much on the result, you can forget about the process, without thinking at what cost we achieve what we want. The process is the path. The result is the point. There can be many points, as many as we ourselves want. It is wiser to enjoy the path, enjoying the process. If we enjoy the process, then the result will exceed our wildest expectations.
Allow yourself to be wrong
Everyone has the right to make mistakes. Experiences about this are connected either with the past (why did I do this?), Or with the future (what if it will be a mistake?). What you consider to be a mistake in the past, in fact, is not a mistake, it is either a lesson to be learned, or an advantage that over time you will appreciate and thank fate for it.
So is there any point in being afraid of mistakes in the future? I think no. If you don't try it, you won't know. This is a territory of opportunity. Let yourself be wrong and let others be wrong.After all, how many wonderful discoveries have come from mistakes.
Gaining new knowledge, being interested in what goes beyond the usual circle of our activities, mentally expanding and absorbing the amazing beauty of the world, in communication with nature and people, knowing ourselves - we become happier. In this way, we maintain the joyful curiosity of our inner child. As long as we are interested in observing and exploring, we remain young.
Take care of yourself
At 30, you can create a self-care program for yourself. There are a lot of sources of information now. You can choose what is right for you. It is important to make it a daily habit. Here the key to success is moderation and constancy. Anything beyond measure, alas, brings a short-term result. Constant and comfortable self-care is a lifelong success!
30 years is a wonderful time for reaching a new qualitative level of your own development!
Ken Mogi in his world bestseller IKIGAI. The meaning of life in Japanese. What is worth getting up in the morning for ", so formulated the five foundations of harmony and success:
- Start small;
- Free yourself;
- Harmony and Sustainability;
- Rejoice in little things;
- To be here and now.
And, if doubts begin to overcome you, think about it and do amazing creativity - finding the balance of life!
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