Why are the goals not being achieved? 5 reasons from the head and how to get rid of them

Achieving goals is not an auction or a great coincidence. This is the same action as brushing your teeth, reading a book, chatting with a friend or friend.

Achieving goals is available to everyone. Regardless of age, gender, marital status, place of residence and congenital inclinations. But sometimes blocks in our heads get in our way. Once upon a time, they were established and still poison life. Do not allow to develop to the maximum. What are these blocks and how to get rid of them?

Self-depreciation

The feeling of uselessness arises in a person when he does not believe in his own strengths, skills, when he himself seems unpleasant, ugly, uninteresting. At such moments, thoughts like “I’m nobody”, “I’m doing nonsense”, “Masha has already earned a million, but I can't even XXX” often flash in my head. You exaggerate your failures to unimaginable scales, but you don't notice your achievements and attribute them to those around you, good weather or the assistance of planets.

At the same time, you allow rudeness, manipulation, tyranny in your address. Large purchases bring pain and suffering: it is not clear whether you deserve them or not. It affects self-esteem and self-identification.

Techniques to help you appreciate what you do

• write a gratitude diary and celebrate your achievements every day;
• ask for feedback from family, friends, colleagues and clients;
• keep records and pay attention to progress in income / other goals after a month, six months, a year.

Procrastination

Procrastination is expressed in the fact that a person puts off important and urgent matters and replaces them with pleasant activities: "and even the whole life is ahead", "wait until Monday", "sit on social networks" or "watch another episode of my favorite TV series."

Another reason for procrastination is commonplace overwork, since it is difficult to complete tasks when there are no resources for it. This condition is expressed by frequent tiredness and drowsiness.

Techniques to Get Rid of Procrastination

• learn to plan and not overload yourself with things;
• track attempts to "dump" the case for later and analyze your state: why you do not want to do this, what scares / worries / annoys you;
• Seek secondary benefits of procrastination: Perhaps not getting a new position means avoiding responsibility that terrifies you.

Perfectionism

Many successful people have given up on perfectionism. And this is not surprising, because this character trait slows down our progress: selflessly working on insignificant tasks, we are only wasting time. A number of distinctive features of the system of internal beliefs can be distinguished, by which one can recognize a pathological perfectionist in oneself:

• thoughts like “either perfect or not at all”, “I have no right to make mistakes”;
• overestimated standards for one's own and others' work;
• a huge number of rechecks, "finishing touches" and "bringing to perfection", immersion in the little things;
• a sharp reaction to criticism, as if it were a personal insult.

Techniques to help get rid of perfectionism

• In most cases, you can independently tame the perfectionist in yourself by following simple recommendations. If you notice signs of unhealthy perfectionism behind you, you should:
• learn to prioritize: no one needs the “perfect post” 5 hours after the deadline;
• praise the inner perfectionist: sometimes he points to objective growth zones, albeit in a toxic manner;
• fight your addiction to social approval: you have the right to make mistakes, bad moods, laziness, and even a missed deadline.

"Falling out" in the child

It often happens that a seemingly adult person suddenly begins to behave like a child. At this moment, a person returns several years ago and lives some moments, as if he is a teenager again: he avoids problems, shifts responsibility for failures to others, Mercury retrograde or a pandemic, undergoes impulsive actions, expresses resentment or throws tantrums.

Techniques to help you stop "falling into childhood"

• Introduce habits: Start with simple ones like getting up at the same time, exercising in the morning, or reading 15 minutes daily.
• pump proactive behavior: look for solutions to problems, suggest ideas and start implementing yourself.
• train your emotional intelligence: momentary feelings should not dominate the mind and lead important decisions.

Rejection of money

It would seem that there are really people who are afraid to have a lot of money? There are, and there are many of them. Fear of money is one of the most common fears, which affects not only the emotional background of a person, but also his financial condition. The phobia itself is caused by several reasons.

How it manifests itself:

• "Ceiling" in earnings for several months;
• inability to save;
• a frequent desire to spend more money as soon as it is credited to the account in order to reduce the amount to psychologically comfortable and familiar;
• the association of money with something big, scary, requiring a life without sleep, rest and privacy.

Techniques to help you stop being afraid of money

• track and analyze expenses;
• open a separate account, save there a fixed percentage of earnings;
• create a "cushion" of safety for at least 2-3 months of existence (housing rent + food + compulsory expenses like study / mortgage / medicine + usual conveniences for you like manicure / haircuts / buying books).