Life hacks that definitely work.
From childhood, we are taught to live by some rules: they say, there are answers to all questions somewhere in books, someone has already systematized knowledge and laid it out in some kind of instruction in case of an unforeseen situation. But in life everything is different. Here and there, trials appear that we were not ready for: no one warned about them and certainly did not write books.
Roughly the same thing happened a year ago, when millions of parents around the world learned to live in a new reality for themselves - at the same time to work, arrange life and entertain children. And all this in a fairly tight space (although here, how lucky is it). If earlier it was considered an ideal way to retire somewhere in a certain working space (office, study, separate room, table in the coworking space), then here it was necessary to improvise on the go. And everyone coped as best they could:)
It was both easy and difficult for me.
Easy, because the quarantine came in the midst of my second decree. It was not stressful for me to be with children 24/7: the eldest daughter had not even gone to kindergarten yet. At the same time, it was difficult because working from home is not at all about me. During the days of active office work, I did not even have a laptop or a notebook with a pen at home. If I had to work, I went to the office, because the house is a place to relax.
But the moment came when the corner of the sofa, the dining table or the bathroom became the study. And I had to find something that would definitely work in our family.
From the earliest days we had a holy rule. If mom / dad are working, this is serious, you cannot be distracted. Children quickly get used to the rules. Yes, maybe at 6 months it's not entirely clear why you can't click on the keyboard, just like touching a saucepan on the stove. But after a year, these rules fit into the usual rhythm of life. If the parent himself often breaks the rule (that is, distracted from work, play, and so on), this is a signal for the child that the rule is not as important as, for example, not touching the same pot on the stove with his hands. This means that it can be violated.
You need to talk and negotiate with children. Even if they cannot answer. Even a one-month-old baby needs to be explained where and why mother “leaves”, why she should not be distracted, and most importantly - when she “will return” again.
Mom will be back
Here is about "will return" in more detail. It is important for both yourself and the children to voice the time frame. "I'll work for an hour and then we'll play / read / go for a walk." The child needs to hear that this trouble will end for him one day.
It is ideal to organize some kind of entertainment during mom's absence. Cartoons, pair games for 2 or more children, just fun puzzles and so on. And it is desirable to have variety. Children quickly get tired of one game, if there are two, three, five in turn, there will be more chances for a quiet job.
I try to negotiate a bonus system. For example, if they don't touch mom for 2 hours, then there will be something that they have long wanted - a favorite dish, a walk to a favorite place, a trip to friends, and so on.
In any case, you cannot punish or scold a child for wanting to spend time with his mother. This is the most wonderful feeling that little ones are capable of. We must also treat their needs with understanding. Perhaps sometimes it is worth postponing work and being with the child for a while until he is satisfied and ready to continue on his own.
Rules may not work
And you need to be prepared for this: children and communication with them are unpredictable.
In my ideal world, family is always a priority.And it so happened that people around me always understood this, because, for example, missing the deadline because of a child was always perceived calmly (although it should be noted here that I did not abuse this opportunity).
But in general, both I and millions of other women show by their example that children do not interfere with personal growth, development and realization. The main thing is a sincere desire, patience and the ability to adapt to the situation - and with the latter we have no problems for the second year already.
So you will definitely succeed! One has only to want it!
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