Emotional intelligence: what is this animal and how to tame it
Emotional intelligence: what is this animal and how to tame it

Fundamentals of psychology that will come in handy in everyday life.

Probably, you, too, were told at school, "If you study perfectly well, you will definitely achieve success in life." You received a gold medal, a red diploma, praise from teachers and parents, but still no success. Universe, why did the poor student from the last desk achieve more than me? And when will the knowledge of algebra that everyone has been talking about finally come in handy?

It's simple. We live in a society in which not everything is decided by the mind - connections are much more valuable. It is almost impossible to achieve success without interacting with people, and therefore, in addition to ordinary intelligence, emotional intelligence is also very important - the ability to recognize the emotions of the interlocutor and your own.

Emotional intelligence - the ability to recognize the emotions of the interlocutor and your own

Some people think that emotional intelligence is more important than any other hard or soft skill. After all, the guarantee of inner happiness, and subsequently success, is the correct experience of emotions, the ability to understand and control them.

We all need different things from life, right? Someone is happy, having little, and someone has already conquered all the peaks, and still feels emptiness. Why is that?

Often this second person does not know what he wants from life, does not track and does not recognize his emotions, all the time running somewhere, in a hurry, and running to the finish line suddenly realizes: "Not there …". Such people often have unexplained body pains: “The neck is my weak area. I will go out without a scarf and immediately the temperature. " A person can live life like this and not know that his suppressed emotion is sitting in a spasm in his neck, which has not found a way out.

But if he had only in time made himself aware of his true feelings and sensations, desires and aspirations - everything could be different.

Inna Miroshnichenko

The first stage is dialogues with oneself

Unlived, misunderstood emotions settle in the body, making themselves felt with frequent pains. And this is just one of the negative consequences of low emotional intelligence. What to do? How to develop it?

The first step is honest dialogues with yourself. About sensations, feelings and emotions at this particular moment in time. Right here and right now.

Am I comfortable in the company of these people? Do I really like my job or was it a parental choice that I don’t dare to change? Do I really love skiing or do I just want to have more in common with the guy? The list is endless.

In general, there are six basic emotions: happiness, surprise, fear, disgust, anger, and sadness. Answer yourself to the question "what of this am I experiencing now?" in order to understand the motives and consequences of their actions.

Emotions should not be suppressed

When pumping your emotional intelligence, it is important to remember that emotions should not be suppressed: you need to learn to live them, and then process them into energy to achieve goals.

Your boss scolds you. The child is hysterical in the middle of the shopping center. What do you feel? Anger? Irritation? This is fine! Such emotions also have a right to life, they also need to be given a way out (eco-friendly, as they say now) - sports, meditation, heart-to-heart conversations with a friend - here everyone chooses their own. It's important to focus on what will actually work.

Inna Miroshnichenko

The secret of successful deals

In addition to the obvious health and mental health benefits, high levels of emotional intelligence bring clear success at work. Let me give you an example from life.

At one of my past jobs, in a law firm, my manager could not conclude the most important contract for the company with a foreign investor. Three meetings brought the negotiations to a standstill. And so it was not the boss himself who went to the next round of negotiations, but an ordinary lawyer. By morning - the contract was signed. But how? Yes, the lawyer was not such an intellectual as his boss, but he perfectly knew how to feel the mood of people and give them exactly what they want. Being in a comfortable environment and experiencing positive emotions, a person makes contact easier. He knew about this, and easily charmed the entire delegation.

There is such a thing as empathy - the ability to empathize. Or rather, conduct a dialogue, taking into account the emotional state of the interlocutor. We always open ourselves to those who feel us. “We are on the same wavelength, soul mates,” you say. But in fact, your interlocutor simply knows how to feel you thanks to his emotional intelligence.

And if that's not the best skill of the 21st century, then what?

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