Lossless love: how not to start a new relationship
Lossless love: how not to start a new relationship
Anonim

How not to seem unattractive, insecure, and also not to spoil what should not be spoiled. I'll tell you about the mistakes that can ruin even a potentially good relationship.

The saddest thing is that it can take away your joy and prevent you from really blooming. And a woman is spoiled most of all by her insecurity, when she herself prevents herself from showing herself in the real light, showing all her beauty.

So, what not to do at the beginning of a relationship.

Don't look too actively for confirmation of interest in you

How can this be expressed? For example, a woman counts the man's SMS, how often he writes, looks at the time between replies, how quickly he answers. Thus, she concludes how interested he is. Also, a woman can watch when he was last online. And he begins to compare: what time he went to bed, what he was doing and when was the last time he got in touch.

And a woman is also inclined to look for in a man's words what leads or does not lead her to the conclusion that she is interesting to him or that he has some plans. For example, asking about plans for the weekend, holidays, vacations.

The woman listens to see if there is a place in this that has already been left to her. If she draws conclusions that upset her, it not only ruins the mood - it changes her behavior.

She may become more irritable or, conversely, more interested. Begins to be more active or tries to win this favor.

It is worth considering carefully if your interest in a man rises more than he shows interest in you. That is, as soon as some of your even fantastical signs of rejection or loss of interest in you appear, it increases with you. This person seems more interesting and necessary to you. It’s a wake-up call that you’re looking for not really love, you’re looking for pain.

couple in love

Don't compare yourself to someone, especially someone around them

The fact is that when you get to know a man or get closer to someone you already knew, you begin to notice that there are women in their life (not just a mother or sister). These can be colleagues, friend and even women from his past. The person had a past before you appeared in his life. But it so happens that a woman is not ready to accept it. And the first thing she does is compares herself with those women who are in his life today.

This is a big mistake, because this also weakens a woman, and she cannot be herself. There may even be women in his life who are also interesting to him today, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Once again - the person has a past before meeting you. And the extent to which he is interested in you, among other things, determines your degree of confidence in your feeling of comfort with yourself.

This does not mean that if you are confident and you feel comfortable, he will definitely be with you. No. But the fact is that a woman who is confident in herself does not need such guarantees. She is ready to wait for her man, she will calmly react to the fact that they may not choose her. And she knows that her love life will definitely be in order, one way or another, sooner or later.

Women often give themselves away. She begins to ask questions, show jealousy, or begin to hint that she would like communication with this woman to stop. This is exactly what scares a man.He frightens not because the very woman is too important to him, but because he feels how his freedom is being taken away, how they are trying to take control of him.

And the woman in this case, who, like a doe, must run away from her hunter, from her lion, on the contrary, begins to knock persistently with her hoof on his wicket. In this case, even the lion will doubt whether to open this gate.

Ask yourself: What's the point in worrying? To feel insecure over and over again or to convince yourself that you are not the best game? Even if today in his life there are those women who are attractive to him, what's the point of worrying? That one of them will be more interesting to him, more sexy? Will it be more physically attractive? Will it be more cunning or bitchy who will turn him around? This kind of thinking weakens a woman incredibly and becomes less attractive.

couple in love

But this is fraught with other consequences. You add value to this man not by how he manifested himself, how he tried for you, but simply because he is popular or you have competitors, and often fictional ones.

Another negative consequence is that you spoil your attitude towards this man because of your insecurity. You think that he is not good enough, he is a womanizer and often this is again unreasonable. Anyone has the right to be interested in someone.

The more important question is, with whom would he want to build a relationship and, of course, the next question - with whom do you want to build a relationship? Therefore, there is no need to run in front of the locomotive. Don't rush things, don't ask for commitments too early. But do not impose obligations on yourself either.

You, too, have the right, in the initial stages, not to decide whether you will be together or not, whether you should be only with him or not. If this is the beginning of a relationship, give time, leave space to look at each other.

Someone thinks how not to worry, it is somehow not natural … Not to think, not to doubt, how it is possible not to think about how much he likes me.

A woman, without hesitation, considers it normal and even right that she is experiencing, feels her insecurity, or even spies on a man somewhere on social networks. Unfortunately, what a person often thinks is right are in fact just habitual. What women seem to be used to, I repeat, does not always help them.

Ask yourself, you, what you are doing now - helps or not, it adds or takes away something good for you.

The fact that you are now comparing yourself with someone in his life makes you more confident or less confident. What you are now trying to analyze how interested he is in you, for example, by the frequency of his messages or by the way he talked about his plans for the weekend, do you feel more confident now? Do you feel more valuable? Are you making better decisions or not? And every time you will draw the same conclusion. You will always lose because of your insecurity.

And if it seems to someone that such behavior is vigilance, then let me correct - this is insecurity. Vigilance is precisely not to close the distance between you too quickly, but to close it in a timely manner.

couple in love

That is, in fact, when a person really manifests himself in a certain way, without thinking out for him, without rushing events, but in a timely manner to watch how your relationship begins to develop.

Summing up, I will say one more important thing: when a woman concentrates on her insecurity and wants to please, she often does not notice, just what should be noticed, and really loses her vigilance. I wish you to enjoy the first pair of communication and not torment yourself with questions: will it go somewhere further, will it become a relationship in your life?

You always own your own value, and a true woman determines her value herself.And if you find it difficult to find your value, I am waiting for you for a 30-minute consultation at the link.

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