What can women who survived divorce regret?

Divorce is always difficult. And after him there is a residue - self-pity, anger at her husband, accumulated resentment.

All the difficulties that couples face in a relationship will sooner or later spill out. Everything that was ignored or that the partners kept silent about, as a rule, becomes apparent during a quarrel. Sometimes people say scary words to each other, which they later regret.

Why not talk to each other about problems right away? Sometimes we are hindered by the fear of being misunderstood, sometimes by pride. But whatever the reason, it hasn't led anyone to anything good yet.

More often than not, a relationship with this approach leads a couple to break up. Only after a while, former partners begin to understand how the problem could be solved.

Usually, divorced women regret the following things.

Didn't ask for help

Looking back, women regret that they were silent about the fact that they cannot cope and they need help. They believed that the ideal wife would not do that. On the contrary, it is the woman who should take over the children, household chores and take care of her appearance. Of course it is not. Excessive exactingness brought the woman to the state of a "driven horse" and, of course, she filed for divorce.

It was an escape from self-created stress. Perhaps, if the wife, instead of resenting her husband, explained to him what was the matter, the family could be saved.

I didn't understand myself and got married early

Women say that before getting married, they should have known themselves and learned to appreciate. Be self-sufficient in loneliness, and only then start a family. Then this process would have passed without haste, with a sense of hope and strength. Otherwise, the choice is based on fear.

Couldn't end the relationship earlier

Women in marriage often endure what is unacceptable. Frequent quarrels, misunderstanding of the husband, abuse and other things are far from the idea of ​​a harmonious relationship. However, they do not have the courage to admit that there is a problem in the family, and they endure, as they say, to the last.

Lost independence

Any woman is more than a wife and mother. First of all, she is an independent person, and only then everything else. When a woman begins to put her husband more important than herself, to erect him on a pedestal, she simply becomes his wife. As a result, he stops building a career, self-development, hobbies, etc. This is an unhealthy dynamic.

Did not take responsibility

Shifting responsibility on other people and circumstances does not allow you to look into yourself and understand your mistakes in behavior. Such a woman believes that the problem is only in her husband, not realizing that only she is responsible for her own happiness. After a divorce, eyes are opened to this, and then the situation seems catastrophic.

Couldn't defend personal boundaries

Women who are inferior in all disputes, keep their own desires and experiences to themselves, are silent about problems and care only about the needs of their husbands, regret not setting boundaries right away. Only later do they realize that they deserve to be reckoned with.

Didn't understand the language of her husband's love

We each have a preferred love language. This is described in detail in the book by Gary Chapman "Five languages ​​of love". For example, if touch is important for a husband and help is important for a wife, they speak different languages. Due to the mismatch and misunderstanding of this fact, conflicts often arise in pairs. Let's say the husband wants to spend the evening cuddling in front of the TV, and the wife starts doing the laundry. The husband believes that his wife ignores him and cannot give him time.And she, in turn, does not understand what is wrong at all, because she is trying for him.

Became dependent on her husband

A woman can go headlong into a relationship and give herself to them without a trace. She neglects her own desires, trying to indulge her husband in order to save the marriage. As a result, this destroys her as a person, and at the same time the relationship.

Don't repeat these mistakes, stay yourself, defend your boundaries and be happy!