How to know that you are in a toxic relationship: TOP-7 signs

"Toxic relationships" or, in simple words, addiction in relationships is a fairly common problem of our time.

There is chemistry in the first stages of any relationship. People are drawn to each other, they always want to hug, kiss, not get out of bed. This is called chemical addiction, and it is natural. But this passes over time, and such a usual dependence on each other can develop into a pathological one - when people cannot live without each other.

Therefore, I have highlighted the TOP-7 "beacons" on how to recognize a "toxic relationship".

Victim and tyrant

One in a relationship obeys, and the other is aggressive. In such cases, the aggressor, conventionally, says: “You are nobody. I'm mad at you. " The victim agrees and obeys in response. This relationship model is also called "child and adult". This is a pathology. Norm: position "adult and adult". In this case, people have their own opinion and have the right to show their emotions.

Concealing emotions

If you hide your emotions, smile in moments of resentment, hold back tears - this is a pathology. Subsequently, everything accumulates inside and results in a huge scandal or, even worse, a disease. Norm: Express all emotions, but so as not to offend your partner. Adults should speak out everything they feel for each other.

Mind reading

A situation when a person does not ask a partner about a desire or emotion, but ascribes his thoughts to him. And the other, in turn, is silent and accepts such behavior. This pattern is considered a pathology. Normal: Both partners talk and share their preferences and desires.

Emotional abuse

This pathology is something like bullying. For example, a partner regularly, even jokingly, says: “You are fat. You are ugly. This dress does not suit you. You don't cook well. You're bad at sex. " Another accepts these phrases and over time begins to believe in them, suppressing his personality. A person begins to believe that no one else is needed, no one will love him, do not make changes, but remains in such a toxic relationship. The norm: not to say bad words to your partner, even in jest, but to express your thoughts in normal language, without subtext.

Loneliness

In this situation, a person closes the whole circle of communication of a partner, limiting his freedom - he does not let him go to meetings, to work, does not allow him to devote time to a hobby, initiates to do everything only at home and with him. In the end, there is anxiety, depression, drowsiness and fear of losing this partner and at the same time losing everything in life. The norm: when in life there are friends, hobbies, work that brings pleasure, and a sense of freedom in relationships.

Shifting responsibility

In our society, there is an opinion of a clear delineation of male and female duties and responsibilities. Pathology: partners cannot take care of themselves in any area of ​​life on their own. Norm: everyone can take care of their own life and arrange everything they need. At this point, I advise you to forget about the word "must". Partners should rather inspire each other than demand.

Breaking or losing personal boundaries

This is a situation when there is no more “I”, but there is only “we”. In such a relationship, the needs of one person are neglected for the sake of another. Freedom, will and thirst for life are gradually lost. At first it may be hiding behind charity: “I do everything for you. I know better what you need. "This is a pathology. The norm: people have personal boundaries, they know their rules and desires and do not allow them to go beyond them. But to do this, you must first fully examine yourself.

Do not let the dangerous words: “You are my life! I can not live without you!" These are all signs of addiction in a relationship. Track these phrases. Instead of them there should be such: “I feel good with you! I love you! I feel peace next to you! I'm happy!"